Paper Marriages

From The Time Warped Wife

From The Time Warped Wife “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Craig Groschel, pastor of Life in Oklahoma, did a series on marriage a few years back that has stuck with me. One of the things he said was that a husband and wife were like two sheets of paper that become glued together through marriage. In this union, they do not loose the writing on the papers, but instead become stronger. Yet when trying to separate the papers, it is nearly impossible to do without ripping, shredding, and destroying the two pages.

Sometimes, we loose our identies in our families. Oh, you are so and so’s wife. Or you are someone’s mom. And we often feel trapped leading to the thinking that if we divorce we can find that freedom again. A person might eventally have freedom, but is it what he or she really wanted? Do the exes still carry on traits of each other because they became one?

Shouldn’t marriage be a safe haven for you to grow in your identity as a person who is a wife, mother, lover, friend, banker, baker, and candle-stick maker? I implore us to not give up on our marriages, but rather find ways of being ourselves and learning how to grow and bond together. After all, we made vows before God and man. That shouldn’t be taken lightly.


One thought on “Paper Marriages

  1. Brayden, this piece as all your pieces comes from a heart of your love for the Lord. Many Christian marriages hit rocky places. I know in my marriage to Karen we have had our really rough times when it just seemed the hits kept coming from one corner or another. After over seven years of marriage I can say that though we have had awfully tough times trying to advocate for the health care I need for rare and chronic conditions, I love her more every day.

    The image of the perfect marriage portrayed in some of the media is a fallacy. There is no perfect marriage, because there are no perfect people.

    When I blow it with Karen, she forgives me. When Karen gets it wrong with me, I forgive her. We haven’t always been successful at it, but with God’s help even if we have a disagreement, we earnestly try to follow the Biblical admonition to not let the sun go down on our anger (Eph. 4:26), to not let the night go by, still carrying poisonous anger into the next day.

    One thing about us guys is that we often can be a dumb lumox (east Anglian for dumb ox) to use the phrase of the Scottish minister Rev. Dr. Peter Marshall when he failed to see what his wife, Catherine, was trying to get him to understand. For two years she sat every Sunday listening to him preach at First Presbyterian Church, a small rural church in Covington, Georgia. Did he even have a clue that Catherine was in love with him? No. Not one. God had to hit Peter Marshall over the head with a spiritual two by four for him to get the message that marriage to Catherine was part of God’s plan for Peter and Catherine.

    Karen says I get things right more than I get them wrong with her. It’s good to know I’m not a dumb lumox all of the time:)

    I agree with you that women can lose their identity with all of the roles they have. Ladies, I commend you on how well you balance all of your roles in your marriages. I know us guys wouldn’t be able to manage all of these things. They say behind every great man is a great woman. I can see in all of the roles Karen has as advocate, editorial consultant, house manager, financial director and Kitty Mommy to our two kitties, William a.k.a. Sir Lounge a Lot, a’k.a. Sir William of Lounge a.k.a. Sir William at Large and Catherine a.k.a. Princess Catherine of Chaos a.k.a. Her Royal Highness Catherine of Englehart, she wears many hats. More husbands need to have a greater appreciation of the blessings their wives brings to their marriage.

    May the Lord bless all of your marriages. When things get rough in your marriage try with God’s help to remember the love that brought you first together. There is no shame in going to a marriage counsellor when your love in your marriage hits a desert place. Anyone who tells you they never have had problems in their marriage is not telling the truth. We all get it wrong in our marriages, because we all get it wrong. We are all people under construction.

    Thank God He loves us all anyway in spite of our imperfections.

    Lord, bless all marriages. Help us when we hit the rough spots when we have arguments. Let us all learn to be better communicators in our marriages. Help us to really know the needs of our spouse. Help us to appreciate the blessing of You in our marriage. Give us the willingness to admit when we are wrong, when we have hurt our spouse with the things we have said. Father, show us all the importance of valuing the roles our spouse performs. keep us all united in love for You and then to each other in our marriages.

    God’s richest blessings to you all!


    P.S. Brayden, I really miss your presence on Mind’s Seat. Something of the life and vitality of Mind’s Seat is missing without you.

    I always looked forward to those Hi y’alls from you. I can’t even write it as well as you express them. You are one of God’s diamonds. Never forget that.

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