On the drive from church to a birthday party, Manbear and I used the time wisely to have a “State of the Union” Address. Lil Bit had fallen asleep and Bubba entertained himself by dancing in the back of the swagger wagon. I like having these types of discussions with my husband, because like most hurried parents, we barely get a chance to say, “Good morning hon! How did you….Lil Bit stop doing that!”
Unlike our current politicians, Manbear and I keep things real and moving towards a common goal. No need to waste precious time trying to figure out what the other is really trying to say and what games he/she is playing. Ain’t nobody got time for that! And as we discussed everything from upcoming activities, business plans, finances, and overall the state of our family, we noticed something had shifted in our relationship.
Now for some, I realize that this might sound a bit boring to you: discussing the business of running a family when you have visions of Prince Charming and Cinderella running through your head. But the fact of the matter is that the thing that had shifted in Manbear and I wasn’t from exciting to morbidly boring. No, as a matter of fact, our relationship has become more exciting, because of this shift. So what is this “shift”?
It is simply this: we learned how to grow together, not apart. For years we clung to each other like debilitating twins. Then we split into two separate directions each wanting something else and it felt like my other half had been sliced from me thus causing several hurts and now scars in our marriage. But finally, after all that, it turns out those were growing pains and those scars aren’t really scars, but rather stretch marks.
In a marriage, the groom and bride must realize that the expectations and standards they have at the altar must be fluid and moldable as they grow and change. Manbear and I were very young when we married. The man he is now is just that: a man. He is a husband, father, lover, friend, provider, protector, and leader of our home. I became a woman, a wife, mother, caregiver, nester. Those responsibilities didn’t come over night. We went through a growth spurt and grew into that godly man and woman God designed us to be. And as husband and wife, two who become one, we must learn to grow together or we will be one lopsided couple.
So if you find yourself married, expect changes to come. And when you place God at the center of your marriage, you can guarantee that the both of you will grow together in Christ creating one powerful union.
Happy growing, y’all!!