Dried Up

1-old-water-well-steven-ainsworthDear readers,
I apologize for my absence. I’ve been a bit neglectful of this blog in hopes of getting another goal accomplished. I am in the process of getting my debut novel, “It is Well” completed and published. This journey of writing has taught me so much more than I anticipated. The story has twisted and turned. The characters took the story out of my hands and made it their own. And all along I have enjoyed this roller coaster. But I often doubted myself. Doubted the ability to be creative. To tell the story in a way that would captivate you and draw you in is not something I take lightly. And in the process, I have neglected other things besides this blog. I have neglected my time with the Lord, the Father of Creativity.

 

Have you ever seen an artist without any paints? A poet without a lyric? A musician without a note? A writer without a word? Have you ever read a book that fell flat or a song that felt hallow? It’s lacking the body of life. That is life when disconnected to the Father. It lacks creativity. It lacks zest. And at the heart of the matter, most of the time God-given, God-inspired talent and creativity are blocked due to self-motivated, self-inspired sin. How can one expect the artist to paint when the paint has run dry? How can a Christian be an example of one who has the living water when she has shrivelled up?

In a village, tucked away in a small country, sat a well that most ran to for fresh water. Yet over the years, the children started to throw little pebbles into the well because they liked the sound of them hitting the water. Then they started to try bigger stones to see how those would sound. As time went on, though, the water wasn’t as easy to get to due to the ever-growing pile of rocks.

Now, Christian, you are that well. You have the Living Water flowing through you that draw others into your presence. Yet, you liked the sound of the rocks hitting the water. You enjoyed the little sins that caused short bursts of fun so you moved on to the larger sins. And now the water that used to flow through you, though still there, is hard to access. The plans that God had for you, the dreams you dreamed together, the poems you wanted to write and the songs you wanted to sing are all bottled up due to sin.

And that has been my place for the past few weeks. Bottled up. Inhibited. Jammed. Cramped. Restless. Imprisoned. You get my drift. It started with a little pebble and grew until I sat in church this past Sunday and the Holy Spirit woke me up through the sermon. Here I am on an adventure of creativity through writing my first novel and I dare to involve myself in something that could strip God’s hand away from this! I am an idiot.

So I give up. I’m not perfect and I’m going to sin again. You can count on it. But now that the Holy Spirit has exposed this particular sin in my life and has revealed to me the consequences, it was time to get right. I want to bear godly fruit, but I can’t be a godly tree and a worldly tree. That would be one confused tree.

Matthew 3:8 says “Therefore bear fruit in keeping with repentance.” John the Baptist spoke to the Pharisees and Sadducees that were coming for baptism. They were doing it for improper reasons and not for a change of heart. It’s got to start with our hearts for it is a well-spring of life. Let life flow through us by repenting and showing the fruits of what God can do.

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8 thoughts on “Dried Up

  1. Brayden, we all stumble and fall from the path. Thankfully, the Lord meets us where we are and lovingly guides us back, one step at a time, until we again see the narrow gate. No backtracking, no lost time, simply a detour moving forward, yoked to him once again. Our Father is gracious that way. Good to hear from you. I pray for you a new year filled with blessings and an opportunity to be with Him in an exciting and deeper new way. Love to you.

  2. Brayden, you are in Karen’s and my prayers. i echo Susan’s thoughts and add some of my own. Brayden, we all veer of of God’s directed pathway. We all get it wrong. The awesome news for us as Christians is that God in His loving mercy, the grace you write about from your heart, takes us back into His tender and loving arms. He right now, this very moment hears the cries of your heart to come closer to His heart, and His will for your life.

    i have had times in my life like you when the words just wouldn’t come. I would sit down to write and kept facing that empty page. I would come crying to the Father to give me the thoughts He wanted communicated. I was doing too much. I was working full-time as a counselor in corrections,involved in a church planting ministry, evangelism, community outreach, fundraising,studying at Bible college full-time, coordinated a junior church program I created, visited the sick in the hospital, assisted in leading worship, sang, and wrote book reviews for our church bulletin. You see, I failed to recognize that all of these activities while though I felt called to engage in them, I was far too overloaded. There was too much doing and not enough being.

    God in His love for me let me fall. Counseling would later reveal that I was seeking to prove to my father and everyone that I was good enough. I was not the lazy, stupid, good for nothing my manic depressant schizophrenic father said I was. If I had to beat myself into the ground doing it, I would show them all that I was the opposite of the Enemy’s lies my father spoke into my heart and life.

    In this time of burnout I became very ill with a flu several weeks that developed into bronchitis. I was so busy I wasn’t seeking the well spring of life you write about so well. Even at 50 I am still seeking to live a life that is more contemplative, more directed by the Holy Spirit.

    When those words just won’t come sometimes, Brayden, it’s good to take a break, to be ministered to as opposed to ministering. Be good to yourself. Give yourself permission for a spiritual retreat. Engage in those activities that energize your spirit. And be patient. God hears. God sees. God loves you with an everlasting love.

    Your Lord will bring you back to His call He has on your life. I encourage you that the Lord has gifted you as a communicator of His Truth.

    I would make one last comment, but one of great importance to your inner healing. Your Lord forgives. It is the prayer of my heart that you would forgive yourself.

    Shalom,

    Kevin

    • Kevin,
      I am in tears as I respond. You have nailed the mark right on the head with us trying to prove our worth through doing instead of being. The list of hats I wear is overwhelming and with God’s wisdom some of those hats have found themselves on the rack for the right season. I’m going to take your wonderful advice and be ministered to instead of always ministering. And also to learn to forgive myself, to not hold my wrongs against myself, and use them as retaliation against myself. Thank you and Karen for your prayers and your loving encouragement. You have no idea how much I needed your powerful words!

      Thank you,
      Brayden

  3. Brayden,
    Such an enlightening write. Keep up the good work.

    I want to really encourage on your latest project being an Author. You have everything you need to fully accomplish the task at hand. Blessings to you!

    Jacqueline

    • Jacqueline,
      You sweet wonderful woman! Thank you for your encouragement! God has been using people like you to confirm so many things in my life. Thank you for taking the time to comment and push me on. 🙂

      How were your holidays? I hope all is well in your world!

      Brayden

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