Oh my goodness! When I signed up for NaNoWriMo, I had no idea it would be such a journey. For those that are unaware, NaNoWriMo is an organization that turns November in to National November Writing Month. The goal is to help writers jump start their novels and write 50k words in 30 days. I’m almost half way there with achieving a little over 22k tonight, but the costs of focusing on this novel have been high, about as high as the mountain of laundry on my bed.
I had every intention of spending this month tackling Thirty Days of Grace with you, diving into the Scriptures about grace and how we live it out. Yet it appears I’m learning more about how His grace works and experience it. I had good intentions, but in my own strength I have failed miserably. And that, my friends, is where grace steps in.
Sometimes when I think of grace, I think of how credit card companies give you a five day grace period so you don’t accrue late fees. And that’s how I feel sometimes with God. Ok, so I screwed up with doing this task. Or I didn’t do what I set out to do for today. I have a five day grace period before God starts smiting me. I know, I need to have my head checked. Now I’m not talking about blatantly defying God. I am really trying to obey Him. I have learned the hard way of what it’s like to live in disobedience.
But I also have lived part of my life in self-condemnation. I have brutally beaten up myself over my mistakes, that shockingly enough, Jesus had already forgiven. See, God has given me grace. He has paid my debt. There is no five day grace period with Jesus. But am I showing grace to myself? And I accepting His grace? Receiving it with open arms? Honestly, I can’t answer those questions with an affirmative. And this is where I’m at with Grace. I love that Jesus has given me this gift. Oh, how I want to take it out of His hands and let Him wrap it around me like a fresh cotton sheet.
Are you the same way? Do you “know” about God’s grace, but are having a hard time receiving it? Accepting it? That no matter how many items you’ve checked off on “God’s Honey Do List” you still can’t earn it? I don’t have an answer on how to overcome this. If you have experienced this and have learned to accept His grace, please share. If you are going through this right now, let me know. We can pray together.
This thirty days of grace is turning into Life Lessons 101 that I’m not so sure I’ll ever be able to achieve. But that’s ok. I’m not where I want to be, but at least I’m not where I was.